when we lived in the shadow of the moon
by wolfsmouth
Summary: Oneshots, missing scenes, tags, etc from Boy Meets World. Ties in with all our lives. Varies chapter to chapter. First up: missing scenes from "Hogs and Kisses". In which Cory is a neurotic mess and obsessed with a certain tape, gets unlikely relationship advice, and has uncomfortable feelings about the two people closest to him


"You can't blame yourself, little buddy. The same thing happened to me once."

The two men shook, still crying.

"Topanga", Cory wailed, as Isaac replied with "Fred!"

Cory paused, face scrunched into confusion. "Wait. Fred?"

Isaac turned to him, face hardening slightly. "Yeah. You got a problem with that?"

The smaller man sputtered, "No, n-no. I just. I didn't… expect… Fred?"

"Fred," the larger man wailed again. "I miss him so much."

"Hey there… big guy. You wanna talk about it?"

Isaac sniffled. "We were at a party. Everyone was pretty drunk and someone suggested we play spin the bottle. Everyone thought it was funny, y'know? And it was, until it was Fred's turn. He spun it and it landed on Casey." Isaac's hands clenched. "They kissed, Fred looked pretty surprised. I was too. I mean, we thought Casey was straight, but it was cool. Eventually the game died off. I wandered off to the bathroom, and Fred went for a smoke. When I found him," Isaac's voice broke, "when I found him, he was sucking face with _Casey_ ," he spat the name out. "And Fred, Fred and I were done."

"Well," Cory said, trying to think of something positive, "at least you got rid of that cheater?"

Isaac sniffled and sighed. "He, he dumped me."

"Oh. Well, it's okay buddy." Cory patted Isaac's shoulder. "It'll be alright."

The larger man buried his face into Isaac's shoulder, wailing Fred and Topanga's names again. For the both of them.

xxx

An hour later, Isaac was helping Cory fix his dorm door.

Isaac stopped, scratching his head. "You know," he turned to Cory, "it's pretty funny. When Fred left me for Casey, when I saw them making out, I wasn't even mad at Fred. Well, a little, maybe. But mostly, I was mad at Casey, jealous too. Jealous that Fred would rather be kissing him than me."

He leaned back on the newly repaired door. "But you? I can't even tell who you're mad at. Or jealous of."

Cory looked at the other man, face scrunched in confusion. Isaac waved him off. "Yeah, yeah. Topanga's your girl, Shawn's your buddy. But honestly, listening to you talk, you sound just as jealous of her as you are of him."

"Like, I dunno. I kept replaying that scene in my head, over and over. Wondering why Fred would wanna kiss a guy like Casey over me."

He scratched at his chin thoughtfully. "With you, it's like you can't decide if you're wondering why Topanga would want to kiss a guy like Shawn over you, or if you're wondering why Shawn would want to kiss a girl like Topanga over you."

Cory sputtered. "Me? Kiss _Shawn_? No way, I just…" he trailed off, not sure how to finish that thought without lying horribly.

The larger man chuckled. "Yeah? You sure about that? I don't know man. I could be totally wrong, but you probably wanna think on that."

He opened the door, tossed a quick goodbye at his neighbor, and shut the door carefully behind him.

Leaving Cory still sitting on his bed, completely confused.

xxx

Cory didn't take Isaac's advice. At all. Instead, he watched the tape over and over (512 times, to be exact). He let the Kiss eat away at him, making him paranoid and edgy and distrustful. He tried to go on like normal, but he kept making it worse.

Eventually, the paranoia caught up to him, as it always did. But his friends were there to talk him down. Topanga and Shawn's "date" went nowhere. He had a heart-to-heart with Angela. Sure, they played him first (and really, for someone who, only weeks earlier, had insisted they weren't really friends, Angela sure knew how to push his buttons) but eventually they worked it out. They were best friends for a reason, after all.

Still, Cory couldn't quite shake what Angela said to him (joke or not), or what Isaac saw before that.

xxx

It was two weeks on from The Kiss, as Cory still called it.

(Mentally, of course. He didn't want anyone knowing he was still hung up on it. They thought they were all long past that. Like five zany schemes and two weird incidents past that)

Watching the tape for the 813th time, and the dreams that ensued, gave him some new insight, _finally_.

It wasn't the kiss itself. He didn't mention it to anyone before, in fact he didn't really like thinking about it that much, but he and Shawn had kissed before (not romantically, per se, but hey, sometimes things just happen when your best friend is dense). And he knew Shawn had kissed Topanga before (again, things just happen, teenagers are weird, and truth or dare inevitably leads to weird kissing).

No, Isaac was right. He _was_ jealous. Of both of them. For kissing in front of him. _Without him_. And maybe, just maybe, he actually wanted to see them kiss again, and be a part of it this time.

(At the very least, his subconscious _really_ liked that idea)

The problem was, he didn't think they wanted that. He could maybe convince Topanga. But Shawn, Shawn loved Angela and Angela only. Unless…

Unless Angela hadn't been messing with him.

xxx

That revelation had been almost a week ago. Now, here he was, skulking around the entrance to the student union, trying to build up the courage to talk to a girl. A specific one. Specifically, his girlfriend's best friend. Well, she was his friend too, but- he cut off his thoughts as they started to race again and took a deep breath. He could do this. He had to do this. He needed answers.

It wasn't working. His heart beat faster and he was about to give up for the fifth time this week, when the girl in question walked his way.

Now or never.

"Hey Angela…" He drawled, sliding up next to her "Can, uh, can I talk to you for a second?"

Angela shrugged, hands in her back pockets. "Sure. What's up?"

"Just. You know," Cory waved, "the other day. Did you, uh, mean it? Or were you pullin' my leg?"

"About?"

"You know." She looked at him blankly. "About Shawn." Still nothing. "Maybe saying my name?"

"Oh. That. You're still on that? Cory, it was like weeks ago. And besides," she smirked, "why would you wanna know?"

He tried to be casual, shrugging like it was nothing. "Oh. No-no reason, just…" he trailed off, cheeks flushing.

"You know," Angela drawled, smirk widening, "Topanga's told me all about you…"

Cory scoffed. "Me? What?"

"Calling _my boy- ex-boyfriend's_ name in your sleep."

They both pointedly ignored her slip.

"Yeah, but that was different, y'know. Anxiety dreams. Not…"

"Sexual?" Angela laughed as Cory grew redder. "Cory, I never said it was sexual…"

He sputtered. "It was _implied_!"

Angela sat down on the couch, pulling Cory down next to her.

"No, what was implied is that you're ridiculous and I was messing with you. How long has this been eating at you? Actually, don't answer that. But if you wanted to know so bad, why didn't you just ask him yourself?"

"I can't do that. It'd be-"

She arched a brow. "Awkward? Yeah, how do you think I feel right now?"

Cory looked abashed. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

He deflated as silence hung between them.

Finally, he spoke. "I don't get it. For some reason I just keep thinking about that. Shawn kissed her like he's kissed m-" he cut himself short, wincing before he continued. "And I had this dream, and I know what you said about dreams, but…now everything feels weird."

Angela put a hand on his shoulder, tilting him towards her. "Listen, you don't have to lie to me. I still love Shawn. And you've loved him even longer." Angela raised her hand, cutting off Cory before he could argue. " _And_ you love Topanga, I know and I believe you. If you didn't I'd whoop your ass for leading her on. But if you really want to know about Shawn, you need to talk to him."

She stood up. "Or don't. Your decision. And I'm here for you, I am. But you two gotta figure out whatever this," she waved wildly, "is between you two _yourselves_."

Angela walked off, leaving Cory still sitting on the couch, more confused than when he started.

xxx

Time passed, and Cory meant to take Angela's advice and talk to Shawn, he really did. But he and Topanga got so roped up in trying to get Shawn and Angela back together. By that point he couldn't go messing with what was clearly a good thing for the two of them. Besides, Shawn seemed happy with Angela, and a happy Shawn was what Cory wanted most, alongside a happy Topanga. Trying something new, having to face complicated, confusing feelings didn't really seem so fun anymore when it could ruin that.

So he let it slide, let life shift back into the comfortable, complacent normalcy he loved.


End file.
